Category: WIT & WISDOM

Shameless promotion

LOL I couldn’t resist this email that came through my inbox this morning as shameless self promotion for the up coming cookie exchange over atOuR KrAzY KiTcHeN.

T H E ITALIAN ELBOW

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

“You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301.

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow , pusha button 301. I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow , pusha 3.

When you get out, I’mma on the left. With you elbow , hit my doorbell.”

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

“What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?”

Are you ready for the Christmas party at OuR KrAzY KiTcHeN? I know you’re not coming empty handed! Don’t forget to check it out and bring your favorite recipe link.

aprons 3

Food for thought

I have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
~Rebecca West, 1913

wildatheart

Foodfor Thought

“With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, “Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”

~Jay Leno

Advice worth reading from an old farmer

Another email gem to make you smile.
  • *Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. *
  • *Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.*
  • *Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.*
  • *A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.*
  • *Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.*
  • *Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.*
  • *Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*
  • *Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.*
  • *It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.*
  • *You cannot unsay a cruel word.*
  • *Every path has a few puddles.*
  • *When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*
  • *The best sermons are lived, not preached.
  • *Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.*
  • *Don ‘t judge folks by their relatives.*
  • *Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*
  • *Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.*
  • *Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.*
  • *Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.*
  • *If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.*
  • *Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.*
  • *The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.*
  • *Always drink upstream from the herd.*
  • *Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.*
  • *Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.*
  • *If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..*
  • *Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*
  • *Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.*
  • *Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
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How to be a gracious Witch

I needed a good laugh today and this email did it for me. I hope you enjoy it too!

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement — not even her parent’s nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ‘Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,’ she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ‘Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.’

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ‘Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.

Her mother just smiled and replied, ‘Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.’

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