Category: LIFE AS IT HAPPENS

BUCKET LIST UPDATE

TODAY I AM CELEBRATING 
LIFE AS IT HAPPENS EACH & EVERY DAY.
On 12-29-2010 my life changed forever with a cancer diagnosis so of course I made a BUCKET LIST.  No, not because I’m dying, but because I’m living. I’m doing well and getting close to being able say complete remission.

Miracles DO happen 

Then life kinda got out of control and I forgot about the list.  It is time to start thinking about it again make some fun plans.

There are so many things I want to do before I do die, but there never seems to be enough time, money or energy so I’m making a list as I go and changing that.  I’m fortunate that I have already done so many things, but there are so many more yet to do!  I no longer stress out over the small things and they were right, they are all small things! 
  • – Eat a hangover burger – 12-28-11
  • – Go to a PRO football game
  • – Go to a PRO hockey game
  • – Learn a new hobby
  • – Finish my novels
  • – Finish my cookbooks
  • – Get published
  • – Go to Vermont/New England and see the changing colors in the fall
  • – Go to Disneyworld/Epcot Center
  • – Go to an Olympics
  • – Get a postcard series of pictures published
  • – Go white water rafting
  • – Go Deep Sea Fishing (if only for the pictures)
  • – Go Parasailing
  • – Design and publish a quilt pattern
  • – Travel 1st Class (sort of) 10-7-14 (trip post to follow)
  • – Move to a new part of the country and start afresh learning new local history
  • – …
Every time I update this list I will change to the current date to show my progress.

My birthday is in September, but with the weather so hot during that month we waited until October to take a trip for my birthday, not that the weather was that much better.  In the “old” days we would take a little trip for each of our birthdays.  That all changed with hubby’s last alert, activation and eventual deployment.  With the fall out of the VA after that, then my cancer and 5 surgeries we never seemed to get back to the trip around my birthday – something ALWAYS came up.  Well, this year we made it.
So for my birthday present from hubby we spent 3 days and 2 nights aboard the historic Queen Mary living in a harbor view first class luxury stateroom with a trip to the Aquarium.  I promise a post and lots of pictures soon!

Creating a Better and Simple Life

So as life gets more and more complicated and there are more and more stimuli thrown at us I want, no make that I NEED to simplify and minimize my life.  One of the ways I’m doing that is by creating a singularly better creative space for myself here at SAVORY KITCHEN TABLE where I am combining all my older blogs into one.  

So if it seems like I’m cooking 40 meals a day, rest assured we’re not binge eating, I’m just organizing!

As we head into this holiday weekend I realize that I have been soooo focused, toooo focused on merging these blogs of mine together and updating the recipes that I forgot to take time to smell the roses or even the coffee and just breathe for awhile!

We’ve had some amazing and weird looking UFO like sunsets recently as you can see from the picture below.

But, that said I CANNOT wait to leave the desert for the final time! We’ve finally decided on where to go and after a stop to help family and re group we will be close enough to do our research and find a new home.  It’s been a long time coming!

It’s been super hot here this week and we’re all feeling a little lethargic from all the indoor time. Even Whiskey who is normally full of energy is oblivious this week.

Personally I’m choosing to look forward to cooler weather by

 I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday weekend.  
Don’t forget your BBQ recipes and laughter.

Anyone remember the HELM’S BAKERY?




Photos from the This Site
Barbara and I were chatting about cream puffs and eclairs and maple bars tonight and the whole topic evoked a childhood food memory for me of the Helm’s Bakery. As a young child growing up in southern California, the Helm’s Bakery truck and his ‘toot toot’ horn were as familiar as the ice cream man and his music. He was the pied piper of pastries, we would follow him anywhere and sometimes did. He had long pull out drawers full of eclairs, maple bars – real pastries, donuts, cakes, pies, cookies, brownies, fresh baked breads sometimes still warm from the oven… He catered to the SAHMs or ‘housewives’ of yesteryear before supermarkets at a time when the family car had been driven to work by dad. Shortly after I remember him appearing in our neighborhood he was gone.

I decided to do a little research and was surprised to find they had gone out of business just shortly after I discovered them as a young girl, but more importantly had been the bread supplier to the 1932 Los Angeles Olympics, created an athletic hall of fame in 1936 that became a model for many of today’s hall of fames and even supplied bread to the Apollo 11 mission to the moon.

I went on about their maple bars for so long Barbara has now challenged me to recreate their recipe. I’m no pastry chef, but welcome the challenge. I can taste them and smell them already.

CUTE as a DICKENS

Our beloved cat died in my arms this morning.  It’s never easy, even when you know it’s inevitable, but when a pet dies you lose a a piece of the family.  We will miss her, but are glad she went with very little pain. She lived a very long life for a cat and was always so sweet.

Revival of Common Courtesy ~ Thank You Notes

Emily Post has an entire chapter dedicated towards the art of communication and correspondence. There are some steadfast rules for common courtesy though and I will try to highlight those here.

Despite our busy lives, we should never omit graciousness from them.

OCCASION
OBLIGATORY
OPTIONAL
Dinner Party
If you are the guest of honor
Appreciated by the host, but unnecessary if you thanked them when leaving
Overnight Visits
Always – except family and close friends whom you see often. You can call them instead.
It is always appropriate to send a note in addition to verbal thanks.
Birthday,
Anniversary, and
Christmas Gifts
Always – except family and close friends whom you see often. You can call them instead.
It is always okay to send a note in addition to verbal thanks.
Shower Gifts
If the gift giver was not in attendance
Many like to send a written thank you in addition of the verbal thank you
Gifts to the Ill
As soon as the patient feels well enough
Condolence
Send thank you notes to all hand written notes of condolence
Congratulatory
All personal messages need to be acknowledged
Form letters from firms need not to be acknowledged
Wedding Gifts
ALWAYS even if the giver was in attendance
Thank you gift that arrives after the event
Should be acknowledged so that the giver knows the gift arrived safely

I have a few great resources to leave you with today.
1) The Art of Thank you:Crafting Notes of Gratitutde by Connie Leas who believes, “Writing a thank-you note is a small but gracious way to repay kindness with kindness…”
2) Personal Notes: How to Write from the Heart for Any Occasion by Sandra E. Lamb who believes, “What’s so often missing from our lives today is the richness of shared humanity, those moments when we feel really connected to other human beings…”
3) The Little Red Writing Book This is an amazing book that covers so many topics regarding writing in general. Page 81 starts the chapter about choosing an appropriate tone that I felt helped tremendously.
4) The Thank You Book For Kids by Ali Lauren Spizman, an amazing book written by a 14 year old. Contains hundreds of fun and creative suggestions for writing memorable thank-you notes.

Revival of Common Courtesy ~ Every Day Manners

“The cardinal principle of etiquette is thoughtfulness, and the guiding rule of thoughtfulness is the Golden Rule. If you always do unto others as you would have done unto you, it is likely that you will never offend, bore or intrude, and that your actions will be courteous and indeed thoughtful.” ~Emily Post

“Parents who insist that their children practice courtesy and good habits at home are doing them a great service, for these habits then become lifelong and the natural way to do things. It is then unlikely that they will ever embarrass themselves socially or in business, for their unconscious actions will reflect a well mannered person.” ~Emily Post

Need I say more? Evidently yes based on what I see in everyday life. Just this past weekend I observed at least a dozen occasions where this was NOT being practiced. When I was young I was taught to say please, thank you, I’m sorry, excuse me and a variety of other niceties that tend to make life more pleasant as well as show respect for my elders.

Though the reasons for many things has changed, the act of doing them has not. For example, in Victorian days a man escorting a woman on the street would walk on the street or curb side of the woman to keep her from being splashed by mud. These days, a man still does it, but now more for safety.

Social amenities are still in fashion despite women not being the frail creatures once thought. I know feminists everywhere will hate me, but I LIKE when my husband opens the door to a building or even our own car for me, stands when I leave the table at a nice restaurant, takes his hat off indoors or walks on the street side. After all these years we have developed an instinct for being courteous to each other. Our children were taught the same.

As a society we have wandered away from many day to day courtesies. We as parents have the responsibility to create the adults of tomorrow and that training begins at home. That is pure fact. I recently overheard a couple of moms out having lunch complaining about how their kids were not learning manners at school or in daycare. HELLO? I truly blame this on the parents. It is not up to the schools or daycare to teach the children manners. Many common courtesies are no longer practiced by many families and/or enforced by parents, but we as parents have the responsibility to make time in our lives to do just that; teach manners to our children, expect a certain level of courtesy from our children and adjust the bad habits before they get out of hand.

One of the examples of the need for everyday manners is on public transportation. Awhile back I was on a subway when a young mother carrying a baby got on as did an elderly gentleman with a cane. The car was full and not one man or teenager got up and offered their seat to either of them. I was embarrassed for us as a society!

There are some personal habits that should be addressed, but based on today’s casual acceptance I will only mention and then leave the interpretation to the reader: men removing hats indoors, slouching/posture in general, elbows on the table while eating, chewing with your mouth closed, belching/burping in public, women in dresses sitting in a ladylike manner, disposing of your gum appropriately, smoking in public, being a good neighbor, personal space/crowding and the list goes on and on.

I have seen many well behaved children and truly appreciate the effort their parents put into their training. I just get so disappointed that so many other parents are readily accepting less than acceptable in their lives as well as their children’s. The ME generation does NOT have to be here to stay. Hubby and I went out for a nice leisurely afternoon lunch today at a little restaurant we like to frequent. It is very quaint and scenic. Halfway through our lunch a young family came in (the kids were about 2 and 5). Mom and dad sat at the bar and ordered a drink leaving the kids to wander. HELLO?? The 2 year old wanted something the 5 year old had and when she didn’t get it started a tantrum that the parents were ignoring and the rest of us were enduring. NO ONE said anything! I was beside myself. Normally I would have been pissed, but not said anything. Today was not normal – I had a splitting headache and was just beginning to relax when this all occurred. I calmly walked over to the parents and asked if they wouldn’t mind taking the little girl outside to calm her down. They were quite insulted by MY nerve as they put it. I told them I was insulted by their nerve. They were clueless!! I actually had to spell it out for them that while everyone was trying to endure their little girl’s tantrum, it was not our responsibility to do so. We were all out spending our hard earned money on a relaxing day which did not include providing daycare for them as their children ran around unsupervised.

While there are even more situations we could address because our entire life is full of them (strangers, prejudice, those with handicaps, unexpected visitors, hospitals, church services, etc… the ultimate rule of thumb is and always will be the Golden Rule for ALL situations.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


How were you taught everyday manners?
How should manners be introduced in everyday life?
At what point do you insist on good manners from children?

The Revival of Common Courtesy ~ Mealtime Manners

This sounds like it should be a short topic right?   WRONG!
“We shouldn’t save our best manners for the outside world anyway-
surely the people with whom we live deserve our best efforts!
~Emily Post
Mealtime manners can help you in so many facets of your life. When I think of mealtime manners, I actually laugh out loud as I recall the scene from Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts needs to learn what all that cutlery is for. Now we don’t need all that cutlery for everyday meals, but we do need to know what it is for and when to use it as well as a plethora of other manners.

The family dinner is the opportunity for children to learn the basics of good manners and not only their table manners, but the importance of courtesy toward one another as well as how to carry on a polite conversation.

Many of you can remember your own mother telling you to chew with your mouth closed, not talk with your mouth full, use your napkin, don’t teeter on your chair, sit up straight , don’t put you elbows on the table, etc…

Your napkin should be place in your lap as soon as you are seated unless it is a formal event and then you take your cue from the hostess. Do not tuck it into your collar, shirt, belt, etc… The napkin is supposed to be placed to the left side of your setting if your leave the table. At a dinner party the hostess will place her napkin on the table to signal that the meal is over.

It is appropriate to reach for anything within your ‘simple’ reach, but not if your reach extends over your neighbor or the other side of the table. ‘Would you please pass’ is the best phrase to use for whatever you need.

As for the cutlery – The rule is always the same, use the implement for each course that is furthest from the plate. The only time this is not the case is if the table is incorrectly set.

Many families have resorted to “do it yourself” dinners and/or eating on the run or in front of the television ~ This is Unfortunate! How will your children learn if this is allowed? When my niece was here, I asked her to set the table one night I was distraught at what I saw when she was finished. Our kitchens are classrooms for the family and setting our children off on the right foot through life.


How do you bring your family to the dining room table for a family meal?

REMEMBER THAT YOUR BODY TRULY IS A TEMPLE or THAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT BALANCE

I know many of us would like this to be the way we take care of ourselves, on a regular basis, but since this isn’t really all that realistic, let’s look at some other ways.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to create a balance in your life. Being a perfectionist Virgo I’m a list maker by nature, but I also find that those lists help me to stay organized and balanced. Both of which are crucial in my situation. I don’t share this with many, but for the sake of argument I will today.

To look at me today you would think I was the healthiest person you’d met recently. But, I have Systemic Lupus as well as Fibromyalgia and Raynuad’s syndrome. I was only 24 when diagnosed and was so sick I was unable to participate in my own life. I was being eaten alive from the inside. After the first few months with the help of my Rhuematologist and a serious change of habits coupled with an open mind I was able to participate in my own life again. So creating that balance is one of the most important things you can do to take care of yourself.

You’ll notice that rest and play are about 3/4’s of that pie chart. I was a workaholic sometimes pulling allnighters to get everything done. But, when I started getting more rest (a fact my body would no longer allow me to ignore) and spending some down time for myself, I was able to get more “WORK” done in a shorter time because my attitude was in the right place and my energy had been replenished.

The other area that I had to seriously address was eating. I was a college student working on my credentials and holding down 2 jobs so meals were on the run as well as hit and miss. But, foods and their components as well as their preparation became a crucial part of keeping me well.

Many of us grew up during the “convenience” years. You know when mom opened a can or a box and just added another can of something and there was dinner. Then as a society we began consuming more and more fast food (prepared who knows how) as well as consuming more and more soft drinks and “diet” foods.

Guess what though? Despite being told these are all okay, they really aren’t. The first thing my Rheumatologist did was take me off of ALL foods containing sacchrin, nutrasweet and/or any other preservative like you’d find in a box product or pre-prepared food. Like she pointed out, a little of a natural thing like real sugar or butter go a long way. You know what else? Within just a few weeks of changing my eating habits alone I was feeling tons better.

I cannot emphasize how important it is to think about what you put in your body. As my rheumatologist pointed out our bodies do not have receptors for chemically altered or created “foods” forcing anything like that through your kidneys and liver overworking your body. While I do not advocate any one diet (other than plain healthy eating) there are a few things to consider. Some of the healthiest things you can put into your body grow naturally (fruits and vegetables) while some of the other things we eat like shrimp who are bottom feeders and pigs who will eat anything are not so good for you. As she pointed out a little thought and common sense can guide us well.

Another crucial area is your dental health. I cannot emphasize how important this is. What may be hiding in your teeth and gums may be making you less than healthy. Daily flossing as well as multiple brushings could change your life. Make that dental appointment today!


I ran across the book above tonight at Jamba Juice and wished I’d had the time to research it better, but it looked quite interesting.

I have not read this book below, but loved the title and intend to seek it out also. More than anything else I want to emphasize that if you are not taking care of yourself, you will be of little value to others whether that is your children spouse or elders.

MAY THE MOTIVATION BE WITH YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Change those bad habits, get more rest, play a little more and make those appointments today! I’m living a “normal” life today because I did.

PEARLS BEFORE SWINE by STEPHAN PASTIS & TEQUILA ROSE FIZZES

Click on the picture to make it larger!

Does this describe your life at any point in time? Be honest. I know we have all felt like we were at the end of our rope at one time or another. What do you do to “recover” from those feelings?

I try to stay positive at all times, but even an optimist has their moments. I remember one night when hubby and I were out throwing back sipping a few drinks with friends and hubby was going on about some silly thing and I pointed out the positive part while trying to overshadow the bad. Now hubby all in good nature turned to me, smiled and said, “you know you can be a real bitch sometimes”, then he laughed and kissed me. My point is that life isn’t all wine and roses and sometimes too upbeat can be just as annoying as always pessimistic so it really is okay to feel like this cartoon every now and then, just don’t linger there.

Instead you need to make these – they’ll make you smile!

TEQUILA ROSE FIZZES
4 ounces Orange Juice
1 jigger Tequila Rose
4 ounces 7 up

  • Blend orange Juice and tequila rose together until well mixed.
  • Add 7up.
  • Enjoy.
  • Next time I’m going to add some rum too!

Can We Motivate Others to Be Kind and Caring by being that way first?

I originally posted this at 3 Sides of Crazy October 2008, but I find it necessary to repeat more and more as time moves forward.
Have you ever noticed that many people tend to save their best manners for when there is company or are they are in the company of strangers? Have you noticed how the relationships that matter the most in their lives are manner free so to speak? Is this true of your life? Our families and close friends are some of the most important relationships and the longest and most enduring, don’t these people deserve our very best?
I recently overheard a young mother complaining that her child was not learning manners in school. Hello? Manners should be taught by parents AT HOME and begin at a very early age. There is nothing wrong with demanding our own children learn how to say please, thank you, take turns, share and be respectful of their elders in their home as well as out in the world around them. In fact, the fate of our society may well depend on it. Learning it at home first will hopefully extend into their everyday world and future business life. Children crave discipline and direction. Offer it up to them.

Some of the major categories that should be addressed while they are young are the basic please, thank you and table manners, but don’t stop there. They should be taught about privacy, and how to answer the phone and the door properly. Privacy is a two way street. Your children crave it as much as you do. As long as the lines of communication are open and there is an element of trust between you and your child this should not be an issue. Left unattended children are naturally nosy and will snoop, eavesdrop and tattletale creating even bigger issues. Learning how to greet people properly at a young age will help them to overcome shyness and social settings with strangers. Shyness is not an acceptable excuse for the lack of politeness.

No matter the fashion fad, being clean and neat shows your children to respect their own bodies and ultimately they will realize that neat, clean and polite convey a self esteem and self confidence that moves with them through their life. Giving in and letting them ‘do it’ because all the other kids are only brings their self-esteem down and creates a herd animal mentality. Now I know this makes me sound as old as my grandmother, but I do believe this whole heartedly.

All of these build to teaching older children to become young adults that learn to entertain one or more friends, date and plan events for a group. They need to learn how to make an invitation, how to RSVP and when a hostess gift is called for. They need to understand what you expect in your home so that they can not only abide by it, but learn to appreciate and live it. One day they will have their own homes and children and you would like to think that you helped give them a head start on making that life a bit easier.

In today’s world we no longer have the ‘traditional’ family with 2.2 kids and a stay at home mom. So you do need to tailor all of this around your own family life. whether it has stepparents, extended family, grown kids who have moved home, etc… It is NOT written anywhere that you must be a soccer mom gone from home 5 nights a week where no one sits down to dinner together and offers up conversation and manners. Have a family night, dinner night, game night or some such. Offer up your very best to those you love.

CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE

The Revival of Common Courtesy was something I began over at 3 Sides of Crazy a couple of years ago mainly because of a rude driver.  Unfortunately I allowed it to fall by the wayside in all the confusion of life, but lately feel like the revival needs reviving. We have all been feeling the stresses of everyday life lately and with the holidays approaching I think we need to remember what’s important in our lives.  To do that we have to put the people in our lives first.  Everything else does need to be done, but it is small stuff by comparison.  I get Dear ABBY sent to me in email everyday.  Most days I scan and delete, but this one struck a nerve with me.
Recently I have noticed an influx of people on cell phones in restaurants in particular and with all the bluetooths and ear pieces these people appear to be talking to themselves for all intents and purposes.  I was particularly annoyed with a table across the way where 2 gentlemen were having conversation, but not with each other.  They were both on their phones.  My uncle asked me what really bothered me since they would be talking to each other anyway.
Have you ever noticed in a restaurant that you hear people, but your not really listening and it’s okay as long as they are not yelling or screaming.  It is just a normal “flow” of conversation so it is background noise?  I hadn’t really given it much thought until this particular day.  One guy was obviously talking to his wife about the kids and some discipline issues in a normal tone and the other guy was talking to an employee and loudly barking orders – NOT the normal flow of a conversation hence it was disruptive.  Their food came and they ate, but also took more phone calls.  I don’t think they said a word to each other, just their phones so it was quite disjointed and not the typical conversational “background noise”.
If I go to a restaurant and spend hard earned money for a meal I want to enjoy it.  Not one of us is so important that we have to have a bluetooth hanging from our ear all the time and take every call that comes in. And before you say it might be my kids, I already know that, but teaching our kids that it is NOT all right to interrupt is our job and that includes being out with hubby or friends.   My kids would text a 911 and know that the house better be on fire or something similar in order for it to be considered an emergency.  Otherwise, it will wait until I get home.  Personally I vote for a NO CELL PHONE section in a restaurant.
So I offer you this Dear Abby and will let you draw your own conclusions.
DEAR ABBY: When I am out with my friends, they can’t keep their hands and eyes off their cell phones. They sit there and text whatever guy they’re involved with, and I feel like they would rather be with anyone else but me.  I have talked to them about it, but they say I “don’t understand” because I have never been in a relationship. Abby, I’m not jealous because they have guys to talk to. I am hurt that my friends think cyber communication is more important than spending time with friends. What do you think? — TEXTED OUT IN TEXAS

DEAR TEXTED OUT: I’m glad you asked. It is rude for people to behave the way you have described. Good manners dictate that people give their undivided attention to those they are with. To do otherwise sends the signal that their present company is less important.