food for thought

This came in a recent email:

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.

Tell me you aren’t smiling? Better yet, tell me you didn’t think for a split second about changing your voice mail recording.

Food for thought

I seem to be the “go to” source for many people when it comes to answering trivia questions. Hubby came home from the VFW tonight and said a few of the elderly Saturday night regulars wanted me to look up and find the difference for them between 35% alcohol and 70% volume. What I found surprised even me.

There is a complete definition you can find at Wikipedia, but this is the part I found the most interesting:

In the 18th century and until 1 January 1980, Britain defined alcohol content in terms of “proof spirit,” which was defined as the most dilute spirit that would sustain combustion of gunpowder. The term originated in the 18th century, when payments to British sailors included rations of rum. To ensure that the rum had not been watered down, it was “proofed” by dousing gunpowder in it, then testing to see if the gunpowder would ignite. If it did not burn, the rum contained too much water and was considered to be “under proof.” A proven sample of rum was defined to be 100 degrees proof; this was later found to occur at 57.15% alcohol by volume, which is very close to a 4:7 ratio of alcohol to total amount of liquid. Thus, the definition amounted to declaring that (4÷7) × 175 = 100 degrees proof spirit.

From this it followed that pure, 100% alcohol had (7÷7) × 175 = 175 degrees proof spirit, and that 50% ABV had (3.5÷7) × 175 = 87.5 degrees proof spirit. To convert percentage of alcohol by volume to degrees proof spirit, multiply the percentage by 1.75.

In the United Kingdom, the proof-to-ABV ratio is 7:4. In the United States, it is 2:1. By these standards it takes less drinks to get your buzz in the United Kingdom.

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Advice worth reading from an old farmer

Another email gem to make you smile.
  • *Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. *
  • *Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.*
  • *Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.*
  • *A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.*
  • *Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.*
  • *Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.*
  • *Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*
  • *Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.*
  • *It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.*
  • *You cannot unsay a cruel word.*
  • *Every path has a few puddles.*
  • *When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*
  • *The best sermons are lived, not preached.
  • *Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.*
  • *Don ‘t judge folks by their relatives.*
  • *Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*
  • *Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.*
  • *Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.*
  • *Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.*
  • *If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.*
  • *Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.*
  • *The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.*
  • *Always drink upstream from the herd.*
  • *Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.*
  • *Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.*
  • *If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..*
  • *Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*
  • *Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.*
  • *Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
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Food for thought ~ Be forewarned this is a tear jerker story even if it is just that, a story!

A few days ago my niece announced that they had received new orders and would be leaving for a four year tour in Japan early next year. She’s a bit freaked out that there is so much to do ~ selling the house, the cars, packing, etc… She also has a toddler that will make all of this a little trying for her. I’m excited for her and even more excited for the little one as she’ll start school there – what an awesome opportunity. They have time to deal with their pets before they go.

Later that same day this email came across my desk and I have to admit I cried hard after reading it. I did find out that it is just a story, but it hit very close to home for us (we have a big black lab named Tank Gunner and hubby just retired from the military where he was a tank commander) and makes you think about all the times it could have been true.

There are a few organizations out there that can help in these situations. Organizations like the Humane Society’s military pet program or Operation Noble Foster which are both admirable for their work with military pets and families.

Be sure and grab your kleenex box.

They told me the big black Lab’s name was Reggie as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, and the people really friendly.

I’d only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street. But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn’t hurt. Give me someone to talk to.

And I had just seen Reggie’s advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn’t look like “Lab people,” whatever that meant. They must’ve thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn’t really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home).

Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike.

For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls – he wouldn’t go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn’t really think he’d need all his old stuff, that I’d get him new things once he settled in. but it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn’t going to.

I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like “sit” and “stay” and “come” and “heel,” and he’d follow them – when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name – sure, he’d look in my direction after the fourth of fifth time I said it, but then he’d just go back to doing whatever. When I’d ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.

This just wasn’t going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell.

The friction got so bad that I couldn’t wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my
cellphone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the “damn dog probably hid it on me.”

Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter’s number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter. I
tossed the pad in Reggie’s direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I’d seen since bringing him home. But then I called, “Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come here and I’ll give you a treat.” Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction – maybe “glared” is more accurate – and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down. With his back to me.

Well, that’s not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number. But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too. “Okay, Reggie,” I said out loud, “let’s see if your previous owner has any advice.”………

To Whoever Gets My Dog:
Well, I can’t say that I’m happy you’re reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie’s new owner.

I’m not even happy writing it. If you’re reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter. He knew something was different. I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time… it’s like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong… which is why I have to go to try to make it right.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls…the more the merrier. Sometimes I think he’s part squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn’t done it yet. Doesn’t matter where you throw them, he’ll bound after it, so be careful – really don’t do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.

Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I’ll go over them again: Reggie knows the obvious ones – “sit,” “stay,” “come,” “heel.” He knows hand signals: “back” to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and “over” if you put your hand out right or left. “Shake” for shaking water off, and “paw” for a high-five. He does “down” when he feels like lying down – I bet you could work on that with him some more. He knows “ball” and “food” and “bone” and “treat” like nobody’s business. I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He’s up on his shots. Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they’ll make sure to send you reminders for when he’s due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car – I don’t know how he knows when it’s time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. I’ve never been married, so it’s only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He’s gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn’t bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially. Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.

And that’s why I need to share one more bit of info with you…. His name’s not Reggie. I don’t know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He’s a smart dog, he’ll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. but I just couldn’t bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I’d never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything’s fine. But if someone else is reading it, well… well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It’ll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you’ll even notice a change in his demeanor if he’s been giving you problems.

His real name is Tank. Because that is what I drive.

Again, if you’re reading this and you’re from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn’t make “Reggie” available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could’ve left Tank with… and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call the shelter… in the “event”… to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he’d do it personally. And if you’re reading this, then he made good on his word.

Well, this letter is getting to downright depressing, even though, frankly, I’m just writing it for my dog. I couldn’t imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family. but still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family.

And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me. That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things… and to keep those terrible people from coming over here. If I had to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He was my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that’s enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. I don’t think I’ll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I’ll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight – every night – from me.

Thank you,
Paul Mallory

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog. “Hey, Tank,” I said quietly. The dog’s head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright. “C’mere boy.”

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn’t heard in months. “Tank,” I whispered.

His tail swished. I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.

“It’s me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me.” Tank reached up and licked my cheek. “So whatdaya say we play some ball? His ears perked again.

“Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?” Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

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How to be a gracious Witch

I needed a good laugh today and this email did it for me. I hope you enjoy it too!

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement — not even her parent’s nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ‘Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,’ she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ‘Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.’

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ‘Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.

Her mother just smiled and replied, ‘Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.’

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Ketchup or Catsup?

Do you ever wonder why we have both names or how they originated. Recently hubby has been requesting my 1000 Island dressing a lot which recently sparked an animated conversation on ketchup vs. catsup when I was a bit tired and my mid-western inflection sounded odd to his west coast ears. I decided it was time to put an end to the debate and started researching both names.

What I thought was going to be a simple research turned into an in depth history study. Here is what I found.

According to Culinary Sleuth the difference is primarily in the spelling and pronunciation, but I found that may not truly be the case. They claim it is America’s most widely used condiment and can be found in 97% of all kitchens.

The basic ingredients in today’s ketchup are tomatoes, vinegar, sugar, salt, allspice, cloves and cinnamon. Onions, celery and other vegetables are frequent additions. Catsup may be made of tomatoes, onions, cayenne, sugar, white vinegar, cloves, cinnamon, celery seed and salt. So the two do not differ much except that catsup appears to be spicier than Ketchup.

Per this site, “catsup is known to most experts to use higher quality tomatoes. This fact is not known to most consumers, and they blindly purchase the inferior ketchup more often”.

All versions seem to attribute the origins to an Asian, Chinese or Indonesian spicy pickled fish sauce that was predominantly a soy and Worcestershire based sauce that sometimes also had anchovies and dates back to the 1600’s. English Sailors brought ke-tsiap home with them from their voyages where the name was changed and finally became ketchup. It wasn’t until the late 1700s though that New Englanders added tomatoes to the blend. Henry J. Heinz began making ketchup in 1876 but he was neither the inventor nor the first to bottle it. His recipe remains the same to this day.

During my search I also found the Brooks Catsup of Collinsville Illinois which is home to the world’s largest bottle of catsup that doubles as the town’s water tower. It was saved in recent years by a preservation society and restored to it’s original appearance. This product is owned by Bird’s Eye in today’s world and is produced in limited quantity.

I also found this interesting parody on catsup v. ketchup, or at least I hope it is a parody. LOL

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Friends ~ another email gem to be shared

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself.. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love… I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART & MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER! FRIENDS FOREVER!

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Food for Thought

A dear friend sent this in an email and it was so beautiful and true I had to share it with you. I think everyone is feeling a bit melancholy and nostalgic in these trying times and I believe passing these on sets a positive tone by bringing a smile to someone.

‘To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.’ When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence… ‘The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.’ Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear.

There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won’t anymore…
And who always will.
So, don’t worry about people from your past,
there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.
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Life is too short and time is way too precious these days…

This email came across my desk today and it reminded me that life really is too short, especially these days when there are so many stimuli and things to do in our lives~ things that our ancestors never had to contend with. I just wanted to tell you, all my friends and family how much I appreciate you.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don’t.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it.

Friends are like balloons.
Once you let them go, you can’t get them back.
So I’m gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

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