MISC – Page 246 – Chasing MY Life WHEREVER it Leads ME

Pulled Pork Shepherd’s Pie

Not the prettiest dish, but incredibly tasty!

Greetings…

Well, last week I promised you something special. I like to think this was indeed something special, but along with the recipe, I have a story…

Dave here from MY YEAR ON THE GRILL. As a cook, there are just a few times when you really feel all warm in side. May happen when your children ask for something you make over a night at the McDonald’s drive through… Or how about hosting a dinner party and guests ask for a recipe card… Or how about when your Mother-in-law fumbles a dish and you are asked to rise to the occasion and salvage her mistake!!!

If you follow my blog recently, you remember that last Thursday Jackie and I left my tropical paradise for a different paradise. I made a brief stop at Kansas City, pretty much just to smoke and grill some pork (@25 pounds of pork). But that was only for a day. After that we went to South Dakota for Jackie’s Mother’s 76th birthday celebration. I made a post of my travels with plenty of pictures you can see on my site… but I digress…

Here’s the Mother-in-law fumble story…

Marie’s (my sainted Mother-in-Law) family was going to have a pot-luck lunch as part of her birthday celebration. Maybe a dozen families, over 50 people and everyone was supposed to bring a dish. I had about 5 pounds of my pulled pork (see today’s post for those details) that I was going to contribute. Marie was going to make potato salad.

The morning of the fun, Marie was up at the crack of dawn, boiling potatoes. She got busy, and wasn’t watching the pot and overcooked her taters badly. It happens, bet it has happened to you. She had already signed up to bring tater salad. So, when I got up (at least an hour after the crack of dawn (blame jet lag), she was already off to the store to buy more potatoes.

Over coffee, Marie was very upset that she was going to waste 5 pounds of potatoes that were too mushy to make into salad. Jackie asked if there was something I could do. I suggested she make mashed potatoes and just say she meant to do that all along. Well, long story short, the night before, Marie made an honest little mistake, that became the butt of old and senile jokes for the evening, and while she took it all in good humor, she did not want to live through another day of good natured humor. Marie was going to make potato salad period.

So, what to do with the mushy potatoes. Jackie asked if there was something I could do. Aside from mashed, couldn’t think of anything. Certainly could not come up with a mashed potato salad.

But I did recall a recent post I did. Thank’s to a Girlichef recipe, I had made a shepherd’s pie. You know, that all in one dish, ground meat on the bottom, mashed potatoes on the top and Girlichef added creamed corn and peas to the mix… and then topped with cheese. Hers was a beautiful thing, and mine was a fair copy. But the sweet of the corn and the savory of the meat and taters really did mix well.

Long story short, I made Girlichef’s pie (with my pulled pork in place of ground beef), rescued Marie’s ruined taters, and I nervously waited to see if anyone would eat it…

But first, here’s what I did…

I made a layer of pulled pork. I did dice up the pork into smaller sized pieces. i added an onion and 2 cans of cream corn (the recipe was being doubled). The pork was plenty seasoned, so no additional seasonings was needed…

And now, here’s what I did to make the taters better. They were pretty “shreddy (is that a word???) if you blew on em, they would disintegrate. SO, I added …

8 ounces of Cream Cheese

1 stick of butter

and milk as needed…

whip

The potatoes came out perfect!!! To the ooohs and aaahs of my Mother-in-Law (she was stunned by the cream cheese, which really helped to re-bind the taters together). Top the meat/corn mix with the whipped potatoes.

Top with some shredded cheese. I had a cup of peas set aside for people who wanted to add something extra…

Bake to warm up at 350 for about 45 minutes…

And everyone won. I told everyone Marie helped me (once I saw that the dish was well received), so her reputation was salvaged, and no old and senile jokes were made. I got a new use for left overs, so I can justify making extra pork shoulder next time I fire up my smoker. And my reputation as a cook in my wife’s eye makes her glow inside (remember, my only justification for her taking me to St Thomas is as her personal cook, and sometimes cabana boy).

And the measure of success in making a pot luck dish is how much is left. As I said, I made a double batch to use all of the potatoes. Well over half was eaten. Several people went back for seconds (the guys really loved it, and being in hunting territory, the idea of making this with venison was being talked about.

A big hit indeed. And please, check out Girlichef’s recipe for shepherd’s pie. You make it with hamburger, and it is VERY VERY GOOD!

Dave here from MY YEAR ON THE GRILL. It really is just this easy!

… I CAN COOK THAT!

And so can you!

Bittman Batter is Better – Corn Fritters

Sorry Tami and Martha. I tried to schedule this but it kept showing up here.

Stop by and taste my newest gluten free creation at Comfy Cook.

Join me at My Sweet and Savory where all the baked goods are.

I love corn fritters even though they are fried or maybe because they are fried. Mark Bittman has a recipe for what is now my favorite corn fritter recipe. To continue, in this month’s theme, of pancakes, I am going to share his recipe with you.

Every corn fritter, I have made has had sugar in it and even when it is not called for, I add a little but not with this recipe. If I am going to follow a Bittman recipe, I will try to stay as true, as I can. (It did not need the sugar)

I think, what made this so good, is that the eggs are separated and it has some heat to it.

I guess, every recipe has a story, and this is no different. I had cooked two batches of the pancakes and was happy with that extra height, coming from the beaten egg whites. It is important to be gentle with this batter so as not to lose this. My hubby, who is one of those men, who always helps, when necessary. He will throw a wash in the washing machine, do dishes, vacuum. He is great. Sometimes, he helps when I don’t want him to and that is what happened.

I had a cake in the oven, at the same time, I was making the pancakes and I muttered something like, “I have to take the cake out.” Harmless, one would think. He asked if he could get the cake for me and I said, no because I wanted to check it for doneness. Then, he offered to make some more pancakes and I said that he did not know how to do it and went to get the cake. When I stood up, there he was, beating the mixture in the bowl with a joy, you would not believe – you know that batter that should be gently handled.

Bottom line – Maybe it does not have to be handled so gently or maybe, I screeched early enough to save it but the pancakes turned out fine.

Thai Style Corn Pancakes (ever so slightly adapted)

Ingredients:

2 eggs, separated

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 chopped scallion

1/2 teaspoon hot paprika

2 cups frozen corn

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1/4 cup all-purpose flour (I used gluten free rice flour mix)

3 to 4 tablespoons canola oil, as needed

Method:

Combine the egg yolks, scallions, hot paprika, corn, soy sauce, and flour in a large bowl.

Mix everything together and season well with salt and pepper.

Beat the egg whites in a different bowl until they are stiff and form peaks.

Slowly and gently fold the egg whites into the corn mixture. You want the whites to be loosely folded in with the rest of the ingredients so they do not lose any of their airiness.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. When the butter or oil is hot, spoon in pancake-sized dollops into the pan, around 4 to 6 at a time. (I got six in my electric fry pan, each time and made one jumbo one, for the fun of it. These would make great crepes. I will have to try making them.)

Cook each pancake until they are nicely browned on one side, around 3 to 5 minutes, and then turn and brown on the other side. Add additional oil as needed in between each batch until you have cooked all of your corn mixture.

Drain on paper towels.

I would serve these plain although Bittman gives choices of sauces or just a squirt of lime. I would also add some more heat, whether it be additional hot paprika or chili powder of cayenne.

There’s a birthday BASH going on over at OUR KrAzY kitchen

CSN stores is helping OUR KrAzy Kitchen celebrate our birthday by giving YOU the present! Head on over to enter the giveaway.

We were recently made aware of a wonderful online shopping experience and it’s available right from your desk top. Whether you are looking for a sofa, TV stands, dining room furniture or cookware they have it all.

Seriously, you really need to go check out these sites
www.racksandstands.com
www.allmodern.com
www.diningroomsdirect.com
www.cookware.com
www.moremailboxes.com

Maybe you need a new spice rack like this one? How can you get it for free? By joining in on this giveaway of course!

The winner receives a $60 gift certificate to use
as they wish on any of the CSN.stores websites.

Kamenstein 16 Jar Acadia Wood Spice Rack

THE RULES

Answer one question – What is your favorite kitchen appliance color?
You can earn an extra entry by blogging about this contest. Come back and leave a 2nd entry with the link.
You can earn another entry by becoming a follower of OUR KRAZY KITCHEN. Come back and leave a comment.
You can earn another entry by signing up to be a guest host. Your guest host piece would need to be completed and in place before the deadline. We would then schedule it into our time slots available over the next 2 months.
No entries after 11:30 pm Pacific Time Sunday, 6/27.
Winner will be selected at random and announced Wednesday, June 30th.
Good luck!

There’s a birthday BASH going on over at OUR KrAzY kitchen

CSN stores is helping OUR KrAzy Kitchen celebrate our birthday by giving YOU the present! Head on over to enter the giveaway.

Seriously, you really need to go check out these sites
www.racksandstands.com
www.allmodern.com
www.diningroomsdirect.com
www.cookware.com
www.moremailboxes.com

Maybe you need a new spice rack like this one? How can you get it for free? By joining in on this giveaway of course!

The winner receives a $60 gift certificate to use
as they wish on any of the CSN.stores websites.

Kamenstein 16 Jar Acadia Wood Spice Rack

THE RULES

Answer one question – What is your favorite kitchen appliance color?
You can earn an extra entry by blogging about this contest. Come back and leave a 2nd entry with the link.
You can earn another entry by becoming a follower of OUR KRAZY KITCHEN. Come back and leave a comment.
You can earn another entry by signing up to be a guest host. Your guest host piece would need to be completed and in place before the deadline. We would then schedule it into our time slots available over the next 2 months.
No entries after 11:30 pm Pacific Time Sunday, 6/27.
Winner will be selected at random and announced Wednesday, June 30th.
Good luck!

Cheesecake Cupcakes – Save Room for Dessert

One of the accountants in my company is referred to as “Betty Crocker”, and deservedly so – she makes these incredible, delectable and adorable little mini cheesecakes. For years I have lusted after these heavenly morsels.

At the last event, a bridal shower, these wondrous little bits of heaven were present. And while ungracefully sucking one out of the wrapper, I thought to myself, “These would be great at my upcoming barbecue”. Then I kept eating.

Honestly, I don’t know why it took me so long to ask for this recipe. But I’m so super glad I did because WOW, they’re so good! And so, so easy to put together.

Obviously, I wouldn’t want to present my guests with an untried recipe, so I made a batch this weekend for practice. I’m a good hostess like that.

Let’s get started then.

Preheat your oven to 325 degrees. Line 24 muffin tins or, if you’re like me and could have sworn you had two muffin tins, line 12 twice.

In the bottom of each wrapper, drop one square from a break-and-bake package of chocolate chip cookie dough. Or, slice a log of dough into 24 pieces. But the break-and-bake works better because it’s already sectioned off for you.

Pop these babies in the oven for 8-10 minutes. The dough will spread out over the bottom of the wrapper and make a lovely crust for your cheesecake.

As the cookies are baking, you can get started on your filling. Mmmm yum!

Mix up two 8 oz packages of room temperature cream cheese, 14 oz sweetened condensed milk, 2 eggs and 2 tsp vanilla extract. It’s a good idea to beat the cream cheese by itself for a while to smooth it out, then to mix in the rest of the ingredients. Don’t be afraid to let this go for a while – if you’ve ever made a cheesecake, you know that it takes some time to get rid of the little lumps of cream cheese.

Once your mixture is smooth and your cookies are baked, fill the muffin tins to around 3/4 of the way full. Then pop them back in the oven for another 18-20 minutes.

Let the little cupcakes cool and then refrigerate them for at least 1 hour in order for them to fully set up. Trust me, the wait is worthwhile.

As you can see, I topped mine with cherry pie filling. It’s…amazing. And of course you can use whatever you like – strawberries, blueberries, the sky’s the limit!

I may or may not have seen my husband licking one of the wrappers when he was finished. But I pretended not to.

It should be a crime, I tell ya. A crime. But happily it is not!

Enjoy!

This week’s MENU

Menu Plan Monday hosted by Laura at I’m an Organizing Junkie

	DATE	BREAKFAST	LUNCH	DINNER
MONDAY	6/14	CEREAL	SANDWICHES	Recipe Experiment Night
TUESDAY	6/15	TOAST	LEFTOVERS	Beef Stir Fry
WEDNESDAY	6/16	YOGURT	SOUP	Chicken Stew
THURSDAY	6/17	FRUIT	CHEESE & FRUIT	Honey Chicken Wings & Salad
FRIDAY	6/18	OATMEAL	C.O.R.N.	Poppy Seed Chicken Casserole
SATURDAY	6/19	Diced Ham & eggs	leftovers	Grilled Chicken with Peach Salsa
SUNDAY	6/20	out	out	Beer Glazed Ribeye Steaks Green Bean & Tomato Salad Chocolate Layer Cake

I did and you can too! Plant a kitchen window herb garden that is!

I know that secretly you have been wanting to plant your own herb garden. Now is your chance to do it and make a difference too!

I was recently contacted about a new campaign by Triscuit in collaboration with non-profit organization Urban Farming to encourage the growth of the home farming movement. To kick start the efforts of would-be farmers looking to plant their own gardens, 4 million boxes of Triscuits included seed packets and instructions on how to get started. While not necessarily a new concept, the promotional website does contain some great social components for sharing photos, stories and tips and the partnership is working to build 50 community-based home farms across the country.

Considering the concerns over the economic, environmental and health impacts of how our food is grown, transported and made available to the average consumer, particularly as the population continues to shift into urban centers, it’s nice to see a brand-lead push to make that concept more public.

Whether or not these small scale models of urban agriculture will dramatically change the current landscape their importance might lie in our simply experimenting with what works for each of us as individuals and families. And at the end of the day, there’s certainly something satisfying about eating something grown down the block, in a backyard or on your own windowsill.

DEI world wide sent me these awesome boxes of Triscuits and a $20 gift card to start my window herb garden with. I can’t wait to add more herbs to it. I will keep you posted with the progress of growth. It is going to be great to just snip off the fresh herbs as I need them. We should all grow kitchen herb gardens.

Garlic Dill Pickles & Birthday BASH giveaway!

Hubby loves pickles! I mean he reallllllllllllllllllllllly loooooooooooooooves pickles. Unfortunately I am deathly allergic to mustard and just don’t make them enough for him because of my allergy. But, the other day we ran across some awesome pickling cucumbers at the local farmers market produce and he begged (realllllly) and promised all sorts of fun stuff (I’m blushing) so I gave in and made my super secret Garlic Dill Pickles for him. Now I’m going to share them with you.

GARLIC DILL PICKLES
2 pounds cucumber pickles, washed
2 cups white vinegar
4 cups water
1/4 cup pickling salt
2 tablespoons fresh dill*
1 tablespoon mustard seeds
2 large cloves garlic, minced
1 large Vidalia onion, whole

Chill the cucumbers in a bowl of ice water for 30 minutes or more.
In a medium non-reactive pan heat the water, vinegar and salt over a medium high heat until the salt is dissolved. Set aside to cool.
Cut cucumbers to desired size.
Place cucumbers in large jar.
Stir garlic, dill and mustard seed into vinegar mix.
Pour cooled mixture over pickles.
Place whole onion on top to weight pickles to keep them submerged.
Set in a cool place for 3-4 days at room temperature and then move to refrigerator for crisp pickles.

*you can use dehydrated, but I prefer not to when at all possible – fresh gives such a better flavor!

CSN stores is helping us celebrate our birthday by giving YOU the present!

Seriously, you really need to go check out these sites
www.racksandstands.com
www.allmodern.com
www.diningroomsdirect.com
www.cookware.com
www.moremailboxes.com

Maybe you need a new spice rack like this one? How can you get it for free? By joining in on this giveaway of course!

The winner receives a $60 gift certificate to use
as they wish on any of the CSN.stores websites.

Kamenstein 16 Jar Acadia Wood Spice Rack

THE RULES

Answer one question – What is your favorite kitchen appliance color?
You can earn an extra entry by blogging about this contest. Come back and leave a 2nd entry with the link.
You can earn another entry by becoming a follower of OUR KRAZY KITCHEN. Come back and leave a comment.
You can earn another entry by signing up to be a guest host. Your guest host piece would need to be completed and in place before the deadline. We would then schedule it into our time slots available over the next 2 months.
No entries after 11:30 pm Pacific Time Sunday, 6/27.
Winner will be selected at random and announced Wednesday, June 30th.
Good luck!

Disclosure: I did not receive any type of compensation for this post. CSN stores is sponsoring this giveaway and will handle prize fulfillment. All opinions are my own and I was not influenced to post them.

YAY It’s here! Product Review ~ Caution FAVORABLE review ahead!

Have you heard the news? Shopping is as easy as 123 – really! Quality online shopping is available right from your desk top at CSN stores using one of their over 200 stores. Whether you are looking for LED lighting, dining room furniture or cookware. They have it all.

Remember all these wish list posts I did about all the wonderful quality kitchen dreams and wishes I have? Well, all the items I’m dreaming about to complete my dream kitchen are available from these sites from CSN stores.

Seriously, you really need to go check out some of their sites. Here are a few of my favorites to get you started.
www.racksandstands.comwww.allmodern.com
www.diningroomsdirect.com
www.cookware.com
www.moremailboxes.com

They’re here and soooooooooooo quickly too!

CSN stores sent me these awesome Le Creuset Bakers sets to review. Right now when you buy the larger square, the small is free and the same with the rectangular sizes – a really awesome deal. I have dreamed of owning some of these for sooooooo long.

I decided in order to review it properly I had to makes lots of great recipes. That will take time so tonight I started with a spicy mac and cheese. Now for recipes that fit all these glorious sizes. I’ll review each piece and size over the next week or so.

My conclusion: FAVORABLE!

Everything cooked up beautifully and the clean up was so easy! This is a beautiful quality piece of cookware. I can’t wait to buy more pieces from CSN stores – their shipping and customer service are well above the norm.

SPICY MAC & CHEESE

1 package cheese and garlic croutons, coarsely ground (2 cups ground)
2 tablespoons butter, melted
3 cups dry elbow macaroni
3 cups whole milk, room temperature
1/2 cup butter
1 small onion, minced
1/2 cup flour
2 tablespoons Frank’s Hot sauce
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
4 cups extra, extra, extra sharp cheddar cheese (16 oz. block), grated

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Toss crouton crumbs with melted butter and set aside.
Prepare macaroni and drain.
In large skillet melt 1/2 cup butter.
Add onions and saute’ until tender and slightly browned.
Whisk in flour until smooth.
Gradually add milk, stirring constantly until thick.
Stir in hot sauce, salt and peppers.
Stir in 3/4 of the cheese until blended.
Toss together the macaroni and 3/4 of the bread crumbs.
Stir in cheese mixture until smooth.
Pour into lightly sprayed 9×9 stoneware.
Top with remaining cheese.
Bake 30 minutes.

CREATIVE LIES AND A TRUTH

My very dear friend Diana from Forgetfulone wants me to share deep dark secrets with you and she also wants me to actually lie. You heard me she wants me to lie. Those of you who know me in person know that I am a notoriously BAD liar. MY sweet SIL has been trying to teach me, but she’s says it’s hopeless. Let’s hope that doing it in writing comes easier for me than face to face.

HERE ARE THE RULES OF THE AWARD…
1.Thank the person who gave this to you. ~ Thank you Diana for trying to make me a Liar.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell us up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.
5. Allow your readers to guess which one or more are true.
5. Nominate seven “Creative Writers” who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

So here goes:

I collect owls.
I was a child bride.
I hate fish.
I love white walls.
I won’t drive on the freeway.
I always wear gloves when handling food.
I never wear shorts.

Be sure and leave a comment about which one you think is true and in a few days I will reveal the realities. I can’t wait to see what you all have to say.

Now for those next 7 lucky bloggers who get to lie their butts off (in no particular order):
Martha – Menagerie & Seaside Simplicity
Min – Bad Girl’s Kitchen
Kiy – Rocking Chairs & a Tricycle
Jen – Tatertots & Jello
Janet – Fond of Snape
Tammy – Queen Size Funny Bone
Martha – A Sense of Humor is Essential

I can’t wait to see what you all have to say.

5 stages of acceptance is all relative…to how you CHOOSE to deal with them…

Hi, Tamy here from OUR KrAzY kitchen, Always Eat On the Good China, 3 Sides of Crazy where life hasn’t been normal in quite some time and Tackle it Tuesday on Saturday here at The Motivation Station.

Martha talked about the stages of change on Wednesday. I swear we are on the same page as I was already writing about the stages of grief and acceptance.

One of the things that we all have in common here at The Motivation Station and in life is that nothing ever stays the same and we are always presented with something new to learn to conquer.

My ex-husband used to ALWAYS say, “I HATE change, quit changing everything.” Most people do hate change, but wake up people, change is inevitable. It’s called life and it is ever changing. When I was young I’d say, “but it’s not fair”. My dad’s favorite response was, “where is it written that life is fair? Fix it or learn to adapt to it and move on.” I do believe that is where I learned my positive attitude. It really is easier to adapt and be happy, try to see the positive in any given situation than it is to moan about it and be miserable. I miss my dad. He’s been gone 17 years now, but I try to remember his little one liners and the happy times. They always make me smile through my tears.

Anyway, I believe life is all about change and that learning to cope with it as it happens will help you through life. I believe in Murphy’s Law, the Domino Effect, Payback’s a Bitch, and Karma. I also believe that Pay It Forward and living by the Golden Rule go a long way to keep the former from happening to begin with. I believe everything happens for a reason and that life is one big adventure.

Now despite these beliefs this brings me to my current situation, my aunt Sharon who is also my godmother and was a great role model in my life. She has end stage Parkinsons disease and I am currently living with my uncle to try and help.

Parkinson’s disease (also known as Parkinson’s, Parkinson disease or PD) is a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system that often impairs the sufferer’s motor skills, speech, and other functions. Parkinson’s disease belongs to a group of conditions called movement disorders. It is characterized by muscle rigidity, tremor, a slowing of physical movement (bradykinesia) and a loss of physical movement (akinesia) in extreme cases. The primary symptoms are the results of decreased stimulation of the motor cortex by the basal ganglia, normally caused by the insufficient formation and action of dopamine, which is produced in the dopaminergic neurons of the brain (specifically the substantia nigra). Secondary symptoms may include high level cognitive dysfunction and subtle language problems. PD is both chronic and progressive. PD is the most common cause of chronic progressive parkinsonism, a term which refers to the syndrome of tremor, rigidity, bradykinesia and postural instability. PD is also called “primary parkinsonism” or “idiopathic PD” (classically meaning having no known cause). While many forms of parkinsonism are idiopathic, “secondary” cases may result from toxicity most notably of drugs, head trauma, or other medical disorders. The term Parkinsonism is used for symptoms of tremor, stiffness, and slowing of movement caused by loss of dopamine. It is possible for a patient to be initially diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease but then to develop additional features, requiring revision of the diagnosis.

So knowing all this about how and what I believe about life, the type of illness she has and the fact that I too have a chronic illness* that does at times limit my abilities, I have trouble understanding where my aunt, the god fearing, rock to many in life, fun, positive, adaptable woman went. At one time she was a candidate for the brain surgery, but refused it. She now says she wants it, but the window has closed on that opportunity. Personally I would have jumped at that chance if for no other reason than I wouldn’t want my family to have to wait on me hand and foot 24/7. After 20 years her care was killing my uncle. Long story short she is now in assisted living, placed there by the state because she refused to do the things necessary to attend to her situation. I pray that I have the grace to make the “right” decision for my family as a whole if ever that situation presents itself to me.

She has serious control issues. She wants to manage this disease and make it conform to her narrow minded ways. She was presented just this week with new medications and a new regimen that should give her 50% more “good/on” times. If only she’d stay open minded enough to try it. Traditionally she’ll take one dose, say it doesn’t work and demand to be back on her “safety net” meds. The doctor has told her it is useless to make an appointment with her if she refuses to try what the doctor suggests. Her normal way of dealing with this is to change doctors until she finds one that agrees with her. Like I said there are serious control issues which brings me to my main point, The 5 stages of grief or acceptance. Knowing these and living by them can make any life easier, yours AND your families.

The 5 stages of grief or acceptance:

DENIAL – “this can’t be happening to me”. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

ANGER – “why me?”, feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.
BARGAINING – bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

DEPRESSION – overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

ACCEPTANCE – there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the change or loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn’t leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals should turn toward personal growth.

Get help. You will survive. You will heal (at least emotionally), even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss (loss can also be a chronic illness or even a situation where we do not have control) is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can’t stop living. We have to become stronger. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to facilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic.

*I have Systemic Lupus, but as my Rheumatologist is proud of saying, “you’d never know it, because I refuse to let it show.” I belief that is my cross to bare/bear and I refuse to let it affect my life when I can. Because of that attitude though many people, family members included tend to say you look fine so you must be fine and they heap more and more on my plate to deal with as the family caretaker, sometimes for both mine and hubby’s families. Still don’t know where I got that job, but am trying to empty that plate!

Category: MISC

Disclosure: I did not receive any type of compensation for this post. CSN stores is sponsoring this giveaway and will handle prize fulfillment. All opinions are my own and I was not influenced to post them.