Category: MISC

Practical Jokes, America’s Funniest Home Videos and I need your help for a Payback’s a Bitch ~ Aloha Friday

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day they take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So I thought that on Fridays I would participate and take it easy on posting, too. Therefore, I’ll ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing that requires a lengthy response.

If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and leave your link at An Island Life. Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!

I ran this post a week or so ago, but should have saved it for an Aloha Friday questions since you ladies are so insightful. So, I’m re-running it to get your opinions.

I was having a wonderful chat with my friend Barbara the other night, something we hadn’t done in many, many months. We enjoyed it a lot and then my phone battery died after 3 hours and we resorted to IMs again. During our call I was in my studio which left hubby to his own devices which tonight resulted in a lot of channel surfing. He ended up watching America’s Funniest Home Videos where he learned a new trick. LOL his new trick leads up to the Payback is a Bitch and how I need your help.

While I was having a grand old time chatting and catching up, hubby was taping down the lever on the kitchen sink sprayer. He knew I’d need some water after talking for so long so he left the Brita empty so I’d have to fill it. I turned on the cold water and was immediately drenched by cold water. He also conveniently disappeared!

So here’s my question: how would you arrange payback for your hubby? It needs to be funny, when he least expects it and really, really good!

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Common Sense and the battle of wits!

Here’s another one of those joke emails that makes you wonder, Do these people really exist? I know I have encountered a few similar people out there. These instances bring to mind a saying my dad used to say, “You can’t have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.”

Be Careful Out There

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, ‘NO, it’s not .’ Four is larger than two…’ We haven’t used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.’ She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change… Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

IDIOT SIGHTING: From Kingman , KS
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING: Birmingham , Ala.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind p eople when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’ She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing.’ Our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’ Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’ His reply, ‘I know. I already got that side.’ This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

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Apple Maple Cake w/ Caramel & Mocha sauces

APPLE MAPLE CAKE
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch salt
1 large grated Granny Smith apple
1/3 cup golden raisins
lemon juice
1 1/4 cup maple syrup
4 tablespoons butter, softened
3 Jumbo eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup minced walnuts

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  • Spray a 10 inch round or square with PURE.
  • Sift flour, baking powder, ginger, cinnamon and salt in a bowl and set aside.
  • Peel, core and grate apple. Douse lightly with lemon juice and set aside.
  • In a large bowl (I use my Kitchen Aid stand mixer, but it can be done just as easily with a hand mixer) cream the butter until smooth. Add the maple syrup slowly and beat until smooth. Add the eggs, one at a time, and beat until the batter is smooth and fluffy (3-5 minutes)
  • Gradually add in both the flour mixture and the milk and beat until smooth.
  • Mix in the walnuts.
  • Fold in the grated apple and raisins.
  • Bake until golden and cake tester comes out clean (40-45 minutes)
  • Cool 10-15 minutes before removing from pan.
For a truly decadent cake I like to top it with fresh banana slices and drizzle hot caramel sauce over it just before serving. For an even more decadent flavor drizzle some fresh hot fudge sauce too!

If you really like bananas on everything,
check out my recipe for Black Bottom Banana Cream Pie.


CARAMEL SAUCE

1/2 cup heavy cream
4 tablespoons butter, softened
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
3/4 cup sugar
2+ tablespoons water

  • Combine the cream and butter in a small saucepan and bring to a simmer, stirring frequently to prevent scorching. Remove from the heat.
  • In a medium saucepan cook the corn syrup over a medium heat until bubbly. Fold in 1/4 cup of the sugar and continue to cook until the edges begin to turn a light amber color. Add in 1/4 cup sugar more and repeat until all the sugar is blended in. Continue cooking until amber color darkens stirring constantly.
  • Remove from the heat and carefully fold in the cream mixture.
  • Cook over medium heat stirring frequently until caramel is bubbling.
  • Serve warm.
  • Makes 1 1/2 cups. Refrigerate for up to 2 weeks.
  • Microwave20-30 seconds to soften refrigerated caramel before serving.
MOCHA HOT FUDGE SAUCE

1/3 cup warm water
1/4 cup light corn syrup
scant 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tablespoons sugar
4 oz. bittersweet chocolate, melted & cooled
3 tablespoons strong brewed coffee
2 tablespoons golden rum

  • In a medium saucepan blend together the water, corn syrup dissolving the sugar and cocoa into it until smooth.
  • Bring to a low boil.
  • Remove from heat and whisk in the chocolate until smooth.
  • Gradually add the coffee and rum until desired flavor and consistency is reached.
  • Serve warm.
  • Makes 1 1/2 cups. Refrigerate for up to 2 weeks.
  • Microwave20-30 seconds to soften refrigerated caramel before serving.

originally posted 3-23-08

Family Food for Thought

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they’re fun, they do things together, they’re best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
~Tim Allen

Wednesday Wishes

I have been working so hard on this house, that I haven’t really had any “ME” time and decided to start a section just for me, Wednesday Wishes where I can showcase some dreams and desires for the little things AND the big ones too! This week I’ve been wishing for:

Bridge Creek Blossoms Quilt Pattern The least expensive of my choices, at least initially!
Pampered Chef Accent Decorator Probably the only tool from Papmered Chef that I don’t have.

Harrison Garden Quilt for Amber’s Room With the way the windows face east, the morning sun will make this quilt sparkle.

Rose Trellis Quilt for Kathryn’s Bedroom Pink is her favorite color so this is just the perfect accent for her room.

Thomasville Cinnamon Hill Dining Table Set I just love the old fashioned lines on this piece. It reminds me of Stickley or Greene & Greene architectural styles.
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God’s Coffee Mugs

Here is yet another one of those email stories that begged to be shared. I should clean out email more often.

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal – some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering … ”You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress related problems.”

He continued …”Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups” … Then you began eyeing each other’s cups ….”

”Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us … God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!”

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have …

So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God.

And remember – the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

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The Mayonnaise Jar & 2 Beers

Another pearl of wisdom that crossed my email box and begged to be shared! I wish I was the one who thought these things up. I’d like to trade the beer for a Malibu & coke though.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers .

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.’

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Very Vintage Valentine Swap

I participated in Heidi’s Very Vintage Valentine Swap. I had fun putting together my partner’s box and here is what I sent: an altered candy box full of Valentine’s ribbons, cupcake stakes, recipes, vintage Valentine postcards and a cute little note board. I also made some crepe paper garland and sequin confetti hearts. She has asked for no sweets so I sent these awesome JELL-O flavors: Margarita, Pina Colada and strawberry Daiquiri. I also included a cute set of heart note cards, a vintage table centerpiece, pink variegated yarn, heart cookie cutters and and a Chinese heart carton full of metal conversation heart magnets. I’m still waiting for my box to see what’s in it.

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Ice Cream & Saying Grace in a Restaurant

Here’s another of those emails that crossed my desk and begged to be shared! We adults can learn so much from our children.

Last week, I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace.

As we bowed our heads he said, ‘God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!’

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, ‘That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!’

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, ‘Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?’

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my son and said, ‘I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.’

‘Really?’ my son asked.

‘Cross my heart,’ the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), ‘Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.’

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, ‘Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already.’
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