Category: WIT & WISDOM

Family Food for Thought

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they’re fun, they do things together, they’re best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
~Tim Allen

God’s Coffee Mugs

Here is yet another one of those email stories that begged to be shared. I should clean out email more often.

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal – some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering … ”You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress related problems.”

He continued …”Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups” … Then you began eyeing each other’s cups ….”

”Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us … God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!”

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have …

So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God.

And remember – the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

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The Mayonnaise Jar & 2 Beers

Another pearl of wisdom that crossed my email box and begged to be shared! I wish I was the one who thought these things up. I’d like to trade the beer for a Malibu & coke though.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers .

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.’

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Ice Cream & Saying Grace in a Restaurant

Here’s another of those emails that crossed my desk and begged to be shared! We adults can learn so much from our children.

Last week, I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace.

As we bowed our heads he said, ‘God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!’

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, ‘That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!’

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, ‘Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?’

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my son and said, ‘I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.’

‘Really?’ my son asked.

‘Cross my heart,’ the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), ‘Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.’

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, ‘Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already.’
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Put it ALL in Perspective

This is another of those emails that crossed my desk that screamed, “SHARE ME”. Thanks Ray!

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, ‘How was the trip?’

‘It was great, Dad ‘

‘Did you see how poor people live?’ the father asked.

‘Oh yeah,’ said the son.

‘So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?’ asked the father.

The son answered: ‘I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.’

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added, ‘Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.’

Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don’t have.

Appreciate all you have, especially your friends! ‘Life is too short and friends are too few.’

Pass this on to family, friends and acquaintances and help them refresh their perspective and appreciation.

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Simple Multiplication~Be Kind to One Another

This is another of those emails that crossed my desk that screamed, “Share me”. Is it really that hard for us to be kind to one another and follow the golden rule?

Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply.
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges whatever is given to her.
So – if you give her crap, You will receive more back than any one human being can ever handle.

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Thursday Thirteen ~ Children Learn What They Live

http://www.thursday-13.com/
Thank you Janet and Megan for resurrecting it!

  1. Children Learn What They Live
  2. If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
  3. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
  4. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
  5. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
  6. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
  7. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
  8. If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
  9. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
  10. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
  11. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
  12. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
  13. Dorothy Law Nolte 1972

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$1.11 for a Miracle

Here’s another one of those emails that crossed my path that warms the heart and needs to be shared. Snopes says it is unconfirmed, but I choose to believe there are people this kind and generous out there doing random acts of kindness.

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet.

She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall’s Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

‘And what do you want?’ the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice.. I’m talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven’t seen in ages,’ he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

‘Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,’ Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. ‘He’s really, really sick…and I want to buy a miracle.’

‘I beg your pardon?’ said the pharmacist.

‘His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now So how much does a miracle cost?’

‘We don’t sell miracles here, little girl. I’m sorry but I can’t help you,’ the pharmacist said, softening a little.

‘Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.’

The pharmacist’s brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, ‘What kind of a miracle does your b rother need?’

‘I don’t know,’ Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he’s really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money.’

‘How much do you have?’ asked the man from Chicago

‘One dollar and eleven cents,’ Tess answered barely audibly.

‘And it’s all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.’

‘Well, what a coincidence,’ smiled the man. ‘A dollar and eleven cents—the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. ‘

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said ‘Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let’s see if I have the miracle you need.’

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn’t long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

‘That surgery,’ her Mom whispered. ‘was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?’

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost…one dollar and eleven cents….plus the faith of a little child.

In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will need…

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

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Can I Borrow $25?

Every now and then a special email comes across my desk that I can’t resist sharing. This is one of them. We all have to remember what is important in life, it’s the people in our lives, not the ‘things’.

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

SON: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make $50 an hour.’

SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I please borrow $25?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolity’s.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.

‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours… But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

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