You don’t stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing!!
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You grow old because you stop laughing!!
♥Category: FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Didn’t See that one coming…
My brother-in-law keeps me well supplied with bad jokes and funny emails, but I really didn’t see this one coming when I opened my email this morning, so I thought I’d share with you.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said,’Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hanged himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’
Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?’
♥
The Bath tub test
This was too cute to pass on when it came across my email file.
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill a bathtub with water. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.’
‘Oh, I understand,’ I said. ‘A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.’
‘No.’ said the Director, ‘A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?’
ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
♥
Food for Thought
I found this in the front of a very old cook book and it was something I thought I’d like to share.
Take time for…
- Take time to work ~ it is the price of success.
- Take time to think ~ it is the source of power.
- Take time to play ~ it is the secret of youth.
- Take time to read ~ it is the foundation of knowledge.
- Take time to worship ~ it is the highway of reverence and washes the dust of the earth from our eyes.
- Take time to help and enjoy friends ~ it is the source of happiness.
- Take time to love ~ it is the one sacrament of life.
- Take time to dream ~ it hitches the soul to the stars.
- Take time to laugh ~ it is the singing that helps with life’s loads.
- Take time to plan ~ it is the secret of being able to have time to take time for the first nine things.
♥
QUILT OF HOLES
I originally saw this poem over at Heather’s and then also recieved this as an email and knew I just had to pass it along too.
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.
Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in
many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.
But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.
I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.
My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.
Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise.
My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn’t had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.
I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.
An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.
Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said,’Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.
Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.’
May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!
♥
Food for thought~THINGS AREN’T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR. A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED
A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by Name, said, ‘Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost An hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?’
The blind lady replied, ‘No thanks, but maybe Buddy would Like to stretch his legs.’
Now Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane With a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
Have a great day and remember…
…..THINGS AREN’T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR. A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!!
♥The Story of Life
The Middle Wife
This is another one of those cute emails that crossed my desk and begged to be shared.
I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.”
“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.”
She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.
“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. “She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
“My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bedlike this.” Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
“And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up an d spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!” This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
“Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.”
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another “Middle Wife” comes along.
♥
Slow and steady wins the race!
Food for Thought
Harriet Van Horne ~ Cooking is like love!
Chocolate Food for Thought
I read that the first chocolate chip cookie supposedly originated in 1930 at the Toll House Inn in Whitman, Massachusetts where Ruth Wakefield added some chocolate to a shortbread batter hoping it would melt forming a chocolate shortbread. Many generations later, the chocolate chip cookie fans are grateful that those chocolate bits didn’t melt.
I found a few citations, but the most concise was this one from Wikipedia: “Ruth Wakefield educated at Framingham State Normal School Department of Household Arts in 1924. She worked as a dietitian and lectured about foods. In 1930, she and her husband bought a tourist lodge in the town of Whitman, Massachusetts in Plymouth County. It had been built in 1709, and had a rich history of providing a night’s solace to weary travelers. Located about halfway between Boston and New Bedford, it was a place where passengers had historically paid a toll, changed horses and eaten much-welcomed home-cooked meals. When the Wakefields opened their business, they named the establishment The Toll House. They took it upon themselves to uphold the lodge’s tradition. Ruth cooked and served all the food and soon gained local fame for her desserts. The restaurant had many visitors including Massachusetts’ Senator John F. Kennedy (before he gained the U.S. presidency in 1960).”
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