Category: WIT & WISDOM

OPPORTUNITY vs. ENTITLEMENT

Every morning Dear Abby lands in my email box.  I’m not sure why and can’t even remember signing up for it, but somewhere along the way I must have.  Most mornings I skim it and delete, but awhile back I read one that really ticked me off and then today there was a response to it.  One of my biggest pet peeves is the youth of today and the “virtual” silver spoon they believe to be hanging from their mouths.  So many (definitely not all) of them lack a decent work ethic or back bone and spend so much of heir time selfishly calculating “what’s in it for me” that they miss the big picture. about life.  I thought I’d share today’s Dear Abby because I was impressed that so many others agreed with me and that gives me hope!  Before today, I thought I was the last one clinging to civility, propriety and manners as society’s redeemers.  Okay so based on that statement this obviously goes deeper with me, but that is a story for another time.

 

READERS ADVISE ANGRY STUDENT TO MAKE THE MOST OF COLLEGE

DEAR ABBY: May I respond to “Bound for College” (April 9), the high school senior who is distressed because she may have to go to a state university?

This is America, the land of opportunity, not the land of entitlement. A college education is a luxury, not a right. How fortunate she is to have parents who can send her to college. It is my hope that her father does get that job at the university. What an excellent benefit he will have to get reduced tuition for his offspring.
If, however, that is not good enough for her, it is her right to refuse that gift. Then she may go to the school of her choice and pay for it herself. With the cost of tuition today, that will be quite an undertaking. There are a number of options: student loans, grants, scholarships, a job or an enlistment in the military.
As you mentioned, Abby, in your response, education is what you make of it. My suggestion to “Bound for College” is, lose the attitude of entitlement, look at how blessed you are, rethink your priorities and make the most of your opportunities. — MIKE M. IN BLOOMSBURG, PA.

DEAR MIKE: Thank you for your letter. Readers unanimously agreed that “Bound” needs to make the most of the opportunities that come her way and start thinking and acting like an adult.

Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I could have written the same letter years ago. The similarities are uncanny. I was accepted to my dream school, but due to my family’s financial difficulties, I ended up attending my backup school, one of the largest public institutions in the country.
During the first semester, I was bitter and angry. Slowly but surely, I began to appreciate the benefits unique to a large state university. I enrolled in an honors academic program, which allowed me to receive a rigorous education from an amazing faculty. I became exposed to people from different cultures with differing perspectives. There were numerous student organizations and clubs. I found new hobbies and became active in causes that were important to me. Although I was worried about the school’s party reputation, I quickly found other students who felt the same way I did.
“Bound,” the college experience will be what you make of it. For me, it was instrumental in shaping my future. I took advantage of the many resources available on campus. It opened up avenues for me and, most important, helped me to discover myself. I will be starting graduate school as a financially independent adult, and I can finally do it on my own terms. — SOPHIA K., ARLINGTON, TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: You can party at any school, and you can get an education at any school. To a large extent, you get out what you put in. Yes, there may be distractions on some campuses, but there will always be academically inclined students and opportunities if one looks for them. The “fit” of a school can’t really be determined until one gets there. So “Bound” should go where it is affordable and keep an open mind. She may find opportunities she has not yet considered. — L.C. IN CHARLESTON, ILL.
DEAR ABBY: Like “Bound,” my parents promised I could go to any school I wanted. I applied to one school and got in, but my parents told me I’d have to take out a loan if I wanted to go there instead of a state school (something that was never mentioned). I took the news hard and resented that I was being forced to make my first adult decision and would have debt when I graduated.
I chose to stay in-state. The school was a party school, and I spent most of my freshman year angry that I was there. A year later, my anger was gone. Abby, please advise “Bound” that it’s what you make of the college experience that counts. — BEEN THERE IN RICHMOND, VA.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

THE DEATH OF COMMON SENSE

The Death of Common Sense
Now and then you get a forwarded email that you can’t help but share with absolutely everyone.  This is one of those.  It strikes so many valid points in today’s world.
Below is the obituary for Common Sense:
‘Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. 
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; 
I Know My Rights, 
I Want It Now, 
Someone Else Is To Blame, 
and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

APRIL’S FOOL DAY

Gotta love this Judge!
You must read this….a proper decision by the courts…for a change.
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,”Case dismissed!”
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..”
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant.”
The lawyer said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists..”
The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st isApril Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.”
You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!

OH SO TRUE!

“The difficult part of having cancer isn’t the actual disease; it’s figuring out what to do once you’ve survived. You have to go about living your life after it’s been turned upside down.” ~Corina Morariu

Fun email ~ The Pastor’s Ass

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.  The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read:  PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor  not to enter the donkey in another race…

The next day, the local paper headline read:  BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey..

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby Convent..

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:   NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted!

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the papers read:  NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:  NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is …. Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery It can even shorten your life…..So be yourself and enjoy life to the fullest.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

PRECIOUS EMAIL THAT CAN’T HELP BUT MAKE YOU SMILE

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS, GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE.  NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AN ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS. 
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT. 
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH. 
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES. 
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS. 
8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT  CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. 
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENT WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE. 
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY. 
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA.  THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE 
OF GERITOL. 
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVID’S SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA. 
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER. 
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION. 
18. ST. JOHN, THE BLACKSMITH, DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD. 
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE. 
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS. 
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW, WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY. HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE. 
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.