Category: CHRONICLES OF A BUNGLED REAL ESTATE DEAL
Along the way I’ve also been sorting for the big VFW rummage sale and packing too as I go.
This is the last batch. I’m working on next years batch now!
This room is made of poured concrete, lathe and plaster which made it extremely difficult to work with. I just couldn’t deal with more lathe and plaster tear out, so we created a new wall structure along the old walls in which to change this ICE room into a Mud room/broom closet/recyclables/gardener’s shed.
Even though it is storage room, I want to get it looking nice as it is the first thing you see when you walk in from the side door, which ironically is the door most people tend to use.
Before we bought the house. The previous owner used it as a master bedroom as it is on the main level and they were older people. This room was originally the “Gentleman’s parlor” when the house was built in 1892.
The patron saint for selling your home is Saint Joseph. Saint Joseph (San Jose in Spanish and San Giuseppe in Italian) is petitioned by many conservative Catholics as one who grants an easy death, but in the wider world of Catholic folk-magic, he is the Patron Saint of real estate matters and home sales. The reason given for this belief is that he was a carpenter who taught his step-son Jesus the carpentering trade, and he always saw to it that Jesus was well housed.
The custom of burying a statue of Saint Joseph upside down in the yard while one’s house is for sale goes back a long way in the United States — for despite an “urban legends” page online that pseudo-authoritatively claims the custom only began in the 1970s, I have ads in 1930s hoodoo spiritual supply catalogs that offer a tiny statue of Saint Joseph in a case made to carry him upside down.
Saint Joseph is particularly popular among Sicilian-Americans, and they credit him with having saved the nation of Sicily from famine by bringing about a bountiful crop of Fava Beans and a good fish catch at a time when all other sources of food had failed. It is still the custom to prepare a meal of Fava Beans on Saint Joseph’s day, and to set out a dish of the uncooked beans — called Saint Joseph Beans — for visitors to take home as lucky pieces. In New Orleans, where Sicilian fishermen settled, the custom of wishing on Saint Joseph Beans long ago transferred into the African American community and became a staple practice of hoodoo rootwork. Seven of the beans, locally known as “Mojo Beans” or “African Wishing Beans,Ó are carried in the pocket for seven days and then thrown into running water over the left shoulder while making a wish.
The following is the text of a real estate ritual and prayer to Saint Joseph that i have written, drawing upon traditional sources, and which i also offer for sale online as a complete Lucky Mojo spell kit:
REAL ESTATE SPELL KIT alleged to help in the sale of Real Estate
1 Dressed and Blessed Saint Joseph Candle
1 Statuette of Saint Joseph
1 Bottle Saint Joseph Oil
1 Saint Joseph Chromo Print
1 Saint Joseph Holy Card
PREPARATION: This spell is used to make a home or other property sell quickly once it is listed on the real estate market. It is up to you to see that the premises are clean and that the asking price is within market value. In addition to the items here, you will need a picture frame for the print (it is 8″ x 10″ and fits in a standard frame) and a trowel to dig. If the property has no yard, you will also need a house plant in a large pot.
DOING THE JOB: Remove the cling wrap from the Saint Joseph candle and light it. It is already dressed with St. Joseph Oil and with three herbs used in real estate spells — Cedar, Cinnamon, and Cloves. As the candle burns, hang the print of Saint Joseph where it will be seen by those who are viewing the house. Hide the holy card of Saint Joseph among your real estate papers (deed, termite inspection notice, mortgage, etc.). Spray or dab Saint Joseph Oil in the four corners of each room, each window frame, each door jamb, and the framed print. When you are done with this, hold the statue of Saint in the your hand as you recite the following:
PRAYER TO SAINT JOSEPH FOR SELLING A HOUSE
O, Saint Joseph,
you who taught our Lord
the carpenter’s trade,
and saw to it
that he was always properly housed,
hear my earnest plea.
I want you to help me now
as you helped your foster-child Jesus,
and as you have helped many others
in the matter of housing.
I wish to sell this house
quickly, easily, and profitably
and I implore you to grant my wish
by bringing me a good buyer,
one who is eager, compliant, and honest,
and by letting nothing impede the rapid conclusion of the sale.
Dear Saint Joseph,
I know you would do this for me
out of the goodness of your heart
and in your own good time,
but my need is very great now
and so I must make you hurry
on my behalf.
Saint Joseph, I am going to place you
in a difficult position
with your head in darkness
and you will suffer as our Lord suffered,
until this house is sold.
Then, Saint Joseph, I swear
before the cross and God Almighty,
that I will redeem you
and you will receive my gratitude
and a place of honor in my home.
Now take up the statue of Saint Joseph and dig a hole in your back yard. If there is no back yard, use the front yard. If there is no yard at all, dig a hole in a large potted plant. Bury the statue upside down, head downward, facing east, in the hole and cover it over. Let the candle burn continually inside until it goes out.
FINISHING UP: When the property sells, you MUST dig up the statue, clean it, and carry it with you to your new home, where it should be kept in a place of honour. Failure to do this will lead to trouble with the sale or trouble with the new home or property.
GENERAL PRAYER TO SAINT JOSEPH
The following is a general-purpose prayer to Saint Joseph that can be used when there is need in money matters or for housing, or when death is near. It was transcribed by Sindy Todo:
Oh, Saint Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong,
so prompt before the throne of God, I place in you all my
interest and desires.
Oh, Saint Joseph, do assist me by your powerful
intercession, and obtain for me from your divine Son all
spiritual blessings, through Jesus Christ, our Lord, so
that, having engaged here below your heavenly power, I may
offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving of
Oh Saint Joseph, I never weary contemplating you, and Jesus
asleep in your arms; I dare not approach while he reposes
near your heart. Press Him in my name and kiss his fine head
for me and ask him to return the kiss when I draw my dying
Saint Joseph, Patron of departing souls, pray for me. Amen.
You can find the list of all the saints here.
We really like the attitude of tomorrow’s agent. She’s a go getter, you know the hungry type, a real closer. Our bottom line is that we want to sell the house obviously, but we know what has been done to the house and its value so we are not prepared to give it away no matter how bad we want to go home. So, we will be setting the price and continue to work on the house inside and out until it sells. So, obviously the price will never go down as we continue to make it better and better. This house is almost turn key now so it can only get better.